Lesbians Uncovered!

When you mention the word 'lesbian' to a straight woman, there's inevitably a shiver that comes over them at the thought of two women...unless of course, you are bisexual!        Why is this? We don't have a problem with gay men, and chances are we all know at least one gay guy, who we think is a really nice guy, and fun to be around. So why is it different for gay women?

Here at Hen's, we're never afraid to ask! I tracked down a fully fledged Lesbian female, who has been gay since she can't remember when. Here is her story.

People want to know when I realised I was a lesbian, and there's always one or two definitive moments that stand out. Once, was when I was at a party, and after too many drinks, I found myself making a move on a girl at this party, rather than a guy. We kissed that night, and I found that I had more feelings for women than I did for any guy I had ever dated.

Often, I'm asked what the difference is in being a lesbian.  I wouldn't say that there is a difference between a hetero and a lesbian relationship. It's just simply that I feel more for girls, there is more intimacy, there's more compassion, and my past experiences have taught me that I couldn't feel that for a guy. When it comes down to it, I gather most lesbians think they are heterosexual first, before they realise that they're a lesbian. Because really, who wants to be gay and be different and come out in this world? So you try the hetero thing, then because that doesn't work and you're not happy and don't feel anything, you experiment with the same sex. And for me, that worked!! I've been in several hetero relationships. A couple of serious ones, but there was no chemistry. My heart never skipped a beat the whole time I was with a guy, but it did when I just kissed a girl.

Once I had actually realised that I was more attracted to women, it took me 3 years to tell my family. My sister found out that I had kissed a girl, and I made out that I was drunk and being silly. This was really only because I was too scared of the consequences at the time. Then you hate yourself afterwards, for not having the courage to actually admit it! I finally did confess to my sister, and she totally accepted it!

Telling my parents was hard, but I did come out to my mother, who was in denial for a while, then she openly accepted it, and now it's just so much more relaxing to be open about it. I think there is a process your parents have to go through once they realise you're gay, because they don't expect it from their own kids.

Being openly gay has made me more aware of my feelings, and I am comfortable with my sexuality, but no matter where you go, you still get the glares, or some comments. I do ignore them though, because I'm not out to flaunt it, I'm just being myself. There's still a stigma attached to gay or lesbian couples, people think of the word lesbian or hear it and straight away picture two girls having sex. That's where being gay disgraces them and grosses them out. Don't picture two girls having sex if you aren't comfortable with it, and you won't be so negative. There's more to a relationship than sex, just like there is more to a hetero relationship.

Some believe we don't exist and that we are all going through a phase. Believe me, we're not. You see someone, fall in love, so why not allow yourself to share your life with someone, even if it is that same sex. You just have to put yourselves in our shoes.